Nobody said it is going to be easy. No one ever mentioned it will be a walk in the park. All things considered, I still decided to take the plunge and give it a try.
As we went on, there were cudgels we both have to endure to make things work; to make us better. These, I believe are vital for growth and will make us mature. They were obstacles from where we can pick up lessons we can use as we hurdle the challenges of being in a relationship.
During the first few instances we had misunderstandings; I felt that we are a normal couple. Despite the fact that we know each other so well, there are still gaps and holes needed to be fixed. There are things we still disagree upon.
When it has come so turbulent, you blamed yourself for inflicting so much hurt to me. You blame your whole self for every single disagreement we have without thinking that I should also share the blame. It was sweet of you to do that, but I cannot fathom why you won’t give me my slice of pie and live with that.
I remember I told you once that, for whatever action we do, whether good or otherwise, it is a product of how one of us acted to a certain situation. However, you do not see it that way and instead take up to every reason why we fight.
And then we were caught in turmoil. We found ourselves drowning with emotions. Both of us needed to deflect our anger, frustration, and disgust in ways that we are familiar with. I cried each single day, while you lash your anger out to the wall or speak ill to whoever speak to you with insensitive words.
You told me you are so afraid of ever hurting me again so you want out. You told me you will not be able to provide me the best things this planet can give so you want out. And you told me that because of these, you are not the man I deserve.
Although you said these straight to my face, I have found a way to force myself to be strong. To not to shed a tear that fateful night. It’s as if you are being afraid of the future. But who isn’t? I also fear on what the future holds for me, for us.
Many times over, I told you its challenge accepted. I don’t care how much pain you cause me for as long as I have you, there wouldn’t be any problem. I also told you that there will not be a day I regret taking this path with you no matter how hard this is going to be.
Just like what Rosemarie DeWitt said to Ben Stiller, it doesn’t matter how tricky things get, how painful it is to be with you, it won’t matter since I committed my self to this and being with you is agreeing to all the pains and hurts.
By sticking with you even after all the quarrels, I have shown you how steadfast I am in sustaining this relationship. While I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to rebuild and not give-up, I also wish that with this renewed chance we have, you will stop thinking lowly of yourself and let go of the fear of things that are yet to happen, of hurting me in the future.
Unfaithful but not Disloyal 